Practical Magic: Why panning for gold is the opposite of enriching

Freya Blom

Oct 28

5 min read

Hello and welcome to October's issue of Practical Magic.

At the end of September I decided to set myself a much needed challenge in the form of “Offtober”. I have spent the whole of October off of social media, and during this time I have made some valuable discoveries, and uncovered some interesting questions. It was not easy at the start, and yet now I find myself wondering how I will feel on re-entry (which I will be doing in a very controlled way!).

Stories I had been telling myself

Before I started, I had a whole list of reasons why I “needed” to be actively on social media.

To keep up with clients: The truth is, what we see on socials is only ever a tiny and heavily curated part of the picture of what is actually happening for people. It never gives us the same depth of contact as one-to-one. Given my work, I am already very aware that I am far more interested in the full picture than the highlights, and yet I had slipped so easily into this other reality.

To keep up with world events: But of course, I can consume the news if I want to via specific news sources. And if I want different perspectives, I can find those through reading and talking to other people. It has been quite interesting talking to people and hearing the news through their filter, instead of soundbites on social media. One of the other great side effects of Offtober has been having the time to properly read again. And to treat myself to some fiction alongside the reading I do for my own professional development.

I needed it for downtime: But I can watch TV, or read, or do all kinds of other things. Including flower arranging, playing my beautiful sound healing instruments, cooking, all manner of delights.

I learn things and get inspired by things: Of course there a zillion ways for these things to come about - that yes may require more effort, but are also likely to produce more richness and depth. I can rely on my own life and relationships and imagination for learning and inspiration.

I am sure there are other justifications I have missed. I absolutely accept that social media has become embedded in our lives, whether for entertainment, education, business, and even just communication, and yet I also know people who are not on it and do not care.

What I realised is that for me, social media had become a filler of moments. And it took coming off it to reassemble myself around the actual truth, which is - I would much rather be experiencing moments than filling them.

An inhuman habitat

Digital social spaces are, in many ways, an inhuman, disembodied habitat. We inhabit them mentally, but what is our body doing during all that time?

When we scroll, we are training our minds to race, to go faster and faster, while at the same time filling them with more and more stuff. And all the while, we are sitting still. My belief is that this combination forces a kind of freeze in the body. It might feel like rest, but it is in fact a kind of odd paralysis. A mismatch between the speed of our intake and our capacity to move it through the body to process it.

Since stepping away, I have started to notice my body so much more. I feel more in touch with my surroundings, nature, and my own voice. I feel more grounded and real, and more in touch with the genuine physical challenges of aging and maintaining my health.

Making room

My mum has dementia, and it feels as though there is no room left in her head for new memories and new experiences. Being alongside her through that has made me even more conscious of my own mind, what I am filling it with, how I can sweep it out sometimes and keep room in my head for new things.

And that is exactly what I have found in spending less time (none in fact) scrolling. There is less doom and more room. Paradoxically where the pace of global tragedies unfolding realtime 24/7 puts us into survival mode, the most effective way to really survive is to be fully present to what is actually happening, and to be able to take action on the things that matter most to us. To be clear on what those things are, and to be able to prioritise and act, we need to lessen the mental noise.

Panning for gold

Being on social media is a bit like panning for gold, except the gold isn't real gold, it is a moment of numbing, or a spot of dissociation, and every now and again we will find a crumb of connection or a nugget of interest. As I neared the beginning of my experiment, I had begun to notice AI slop creeping in, more and more ads, and more and more poorly generated content in my feeds. And this only adds to where the deal already does not stack up. The return on investment is incredibly low. If a moment of switching off is what we are really after, there are far less costly ways to find it. What seems like a quick cheap fix of distraction quickly adds up to an astronomical investment in something that simply cannot pay us back.

What next?

Cutting myself off from everything digital is not my aim, but there are a number of changes I will be making off the back of Offtober.

Choosing my inputs much more intentionally: I will stick to consuming longer form content from people and on subjects I am genuinely interested in and have chosen, rather than whatever an algorithm serves up.
Prioritising real life communication over scanning for updates: Communication and relationships over consumption. Leaving more voice notes, touching base more with people, spending more time in connection with the people I know rather than following people I might admire but have no contact with.
Planning my usage: Spending limited focused time sharing what I believe will be of genuine service to people, and outside of that - staying out of the numbing game.

Useful questions to ask yourself

What reasons do you give yourself for staying on social media?
What are you getting from your scrolling time?
Where else could you find the information, connection or rest you are looking for?
Which moments are you filling, rather than experiencing?
What would you like to make room for in your life?
If you lessened the noise, what might have a better chance of becoming clear?