Updated: Mar 9
One of the biggest challenges people face in life is balancing how they spend their time. My clients might start off with the idea of procrastination or laziness or some kind of idea that they are being inefficient or lack self discipline.
These negative self beliefs waste so much more time and do so much more damage than it would take my clients to reflect on what balance works for THEM and accept the actual truth of who they are and how they work.
Am I saying that nobody need ever tweak their behaviours, commitments or practices? No. What I am saying is that there is a time and place to be disciplined and committed, and there is another time and place to let loose and see what happens. The key is to set yourself up for success by understanding where commitment and discipline is genuinely useful in the context of your own unique life and creative process, and where and when you could surrender and be more free.
Put another way - If there is too much rigidity and discipline and no surrender in your life, you are likely to find yourself either emotionally disconnected, or struggling to make things work because your surrender keeps sneaking into the space where your discipline should be.
If you’re all surrender and no discipline, it’s likely you will feel ungrounded and scattered, and find it hard to make sense of things. You might feel overwhelmed and unable to bring the chaos under control. Your discipline side will pop up at the wrong moments and berate you, leaving you feeling guilty or anxious that you are not getting things done.
Without a good understanding of how to make the truth of this model work for you, you could easily end up feeling unproductive or overwhelmed (or both) and frustrated or low on confidence (or both). I’m here to tell you, and promise you, that doing things differently is not only possible, it feels infinitely better. You can start today by thinking about where you are being unnecessarily disciplinarian with yourself, and where you could be more lenient and kind and fun with yourself.