How Freya helped Lucy reconnect with her desires and needs to find happiness, a new relationship and her dream job
Before working with Freya…
When I came to Freya I knew I wanted to work on my career, and most of all on relationships. Career-wise I wanted to find a new job, with no commute, working from home, flexible and fulfilling.
On the relationship side, I had been on my own for 10 years, trying everything my budget would allow to work on the biggest block that I had which was getting over my ex-partner leaving.
I was basically looking for help with relationships at all levels – friendships, intimate, unblocking the past and moving forward. Romantically, I was shut down to relationships. I was occasionally dating, I tried to make things work but fell on my face. I really couldn’t imagine ever being in another long-term intimate relationship.
I had this permanent subconscious undercurrent of stress which I never ever let go of. I felt deeply responsible for everything and had years of sleep deprivation and worry which really depleted me. I got through it but it was draining and lonely.
If I hadn’t have engaged with this process I would have moved forward but at a much slower pace and I would still be fundamentally blocked.
How Freya helped...
Freya provided a safe, trusted, expansive space for me to explore the blocks I had. I have learnt so much about myself, and becoming more conscious and having so much more perspective has helped in every way. Being kinder to myself, learning to trust more and accept support. Leaning into my emotions and needs. I’ve learnt how to be much more present in the now, and it’s a really good way for me to be.
What was different with Freya was a couple of things – firstly, this was the first time I’d actually paid money. I recently looked at how much I’ve spent on coaching over the past couple of years and I remember thinking, “this is the best f*****g money I’ve ever spent. I’ve done all this – what a brilliant investment!”
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had times, especially as a mum, where I have questioned spending money on myself instead of “things” but what a fantastic use of my time and money.
You can’t put a price on what I’ve bought for me and my kids and everything in my life, it’s just amazing, it’s priceless!
The second thing that was different with Freya was that we weren’t about dwelling on the past. I’d done that, bored myself stupid talking about the same old stuff and I hadn’t moved on.
Coaching, and especially Freya’s style has been very good at challenging my thinking, and helping me spot and re-frame untruths I’ve told myself. Things that clearly needed to be challenged.
The work is about now and the future – it’s creative, and it has been (and still is) really helpful for me to look forward rather than backwards, and to focus on the now and how to be in the moment as well as considering the future you want to create.
It enabled me to bring forward my ultimate dreams, rather than waiting until the kids had grown up. It has brought things forward massively by at least five years, and there’s the outside chance that it might never have even happened. Here I am, much to my amazement (and other peoples’!) engaged to a wonderful person, having just moved into our dream house, and expanding our family. I’m now doing my dream job, I love it. That’s pretty amazing.
The other day someone said they remembered when they first met me a few years ago. I was single and couldn’t imagine being in a relationship, and she was amazed that here I was, doing my dream job, engaged, in a new house.
Freya helped me create that and as the weeks and months go by I can feel things just getting better and better. I’m very thankful – it’s amazing really. I’m very proud of what I’ve achieved. I am navigating my life, I am in control and making the decisions using the coaching to navigate in the direction of my dreams and checking back in that I’m staying on track.
Getting into a loving supportive relationship is brilliant, and one of the biggest differences and amazing things about this new situation is the years of sleep deprivation, worry and stress have evaporated. It’s the first time in years I’m sleeping in a different way. I sleep so well, and feel much more peaceful. It’s a whole other level of being able to relax
I know happy isn’t a permanent state, it’s made up of moments and memories, and I’m flooded with so many more of those. It’s like my life has gone from black and white (stressed but holding things together and making them work) to colour – feeling happy and entering this new place my partner and family and I can all flourish more. The possibilities are massive.
I think of where I have come from, the twists and turns of my life, navigating the blocks and the moment of finding my flow and opening up.
Finding someone who genuinely believes in me and my power and skills and vision and dreams, who I am not afraid to say the impossible to, and in saying it out loud and being believed and heard, the transformation can begin.
If I hadn’t worked with Freya…
I would be stuck where I was – some parts of my life would be okay but it would be a much smaller way of living than the big magic I’m living now.
I do understand the thought of working on yourself when there isn’t a crisis looming can feel like a luxury, but it really isn’t. I had read plenty of books and collected ideas but at the end of the day, when you close the book, the reality is that those systems or ideas or structures aren’t really in place in society. I believe it’s truly a sensible idea to have someone in your life that can act as a self-guiding support mechanism for navigating life.