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  • Writer's pictureFreya Blom

May Insights

Updated: Jun 5

Insight 1: "Some people will love you for you who you used to be. Others will love you for who they wish you to be. Few will love you for who you are. Learn to see the difference." - Mark Manson

The truth is, whatever we would like to believe, relationships are conditional, so it makes sense to assess the conditions. Are your conditions up to date? (Yes, they can change over time). Are they realistic? Fit for purpose for who you are now and what you want now? Do you know what it looks like to have them met? The fact is:

  • If we have to stay who we used to be (which is impossible) to feel loved, respected, or heard...

  • If we have to play smaller or different than who we truly are now...

  • If we have to suppress fundamental parts of ourselves to be in connection with someone or something...

...we are sacrificing our ability to be fully present in the world. And being truly present is being truly alive. 

Insight 2: "The fact that someone else loves you doesn't rescue you from the project of loving yourself." - Sahaj Kohli. 

Loving ourselves is a tricky concept to understand because of what we have learnt, been programmed to believe, and have assumed about love and relationships. A great starting point is respecting and listening to yourself; consciously paying attention to your needs, and how to meet them, in a way that is healthy for you. This is a life-changing project, and worth our investment because our relationships (internal and external) are a quality of life KPI we can't afford to ignore. 

Insight 3: "We are in the system and the system is in us and works and reproduces itself through us. Therefore, our resistance to it is both an engine for change and simultaneously a deeply emotional, and psychological labour." - Charmaine Roche

Last year I attended the excellent Coaching for Social Justice course run by Charmaine, and it made me realise how lucky I am to already be operating, as I do, outside of the prescribed norms. Regardless of who I am working with and how they think of me and the work we do (I get called all kinds of things - career/executive/life/writing/business/relationships coach, not to mention work therapist and magical witch), I find the same theme of resistance and creativity re-emerging as a constant. This has resulted in clients calling my work "radically freeing". Something I didn't know I longed to hear until I did. 

Insight 4: "Expect everything, and anything seems nothing. Expect nothing, and anything seems everything." — Samuel Hazo

On a practical level, what we expect and whether that is met or not impacts every area of our lives. We can become blind to the most glorious luxuries with ease. We can equally make decisions that undermine us because we don't expect any better. Examining our expectations is examining an invisible contract we have made with ourselves and the world that nobody has signed. 

On a spiritual level, every time we satisfy or drop a need, if we pay attention to the process, we have the opportunity to experience our most natural state. Turning off the alarm bell, or winning a marathon, or repairing after an argument can bring a feeling of relief/happiness/contentment/peace, but what has actually happened is a brief moment of silence. The desires planted by our conditioning have been satiated. The parts of us that have been clamouring for resolution, can stop fighting to get their needs met. In that moment of spacious, calm energy where nothing is perceived as missing, we are able to experience our true wholeness. A natural and vast state of being.

The week this person met me, they had already spoken to a therapist, a personal trainer and life coach. They came to our call with a sense that our work would be different. By the end of 90 minutes, they had a level of insight they have never had before. It is my deepest joy to be able to support human beings with their life journey.

Another lovely email introducing me to another lovely human. It means everything to me to be able to run my business purely via word of mouth. To be trusted with people's people is a beautiful thing.

P.S...Here are three more ways you can experience my work... 

1 - You can sign up for my monthly newsletter "Insights for Impact here" 

2 - If you use Instagram, you might like to follow me for useful quotes and inspiration

3 - If we have a mutual connection and you would like to experience my work, ask them to introduce us via email! 

I love to connect - please do leave a comment or share with someone you think this might benefit.

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